Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
