I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
