Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize