i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
