I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
