the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
tell your sister to shave her snatch
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
