Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
