Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
