And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
