how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
