I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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