Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize