trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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