You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
