i need an iv and a liver transplant
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have fence marks all over my body
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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