i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
