I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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