I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
