please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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