Got a toothbrush?
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I got chris browned last night
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
