what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
