Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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