I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
