Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
