sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
