dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
