OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He has the fingertips of a God
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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