made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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