The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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