Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
