idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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