i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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