I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
