I feel like abortions should bother me more
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
