the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
