It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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