I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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