Me. At least after what I've been through.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
