I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
