i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
