carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
