He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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