curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
