Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
