take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She bit a glass in half.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
