When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
