Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize