Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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