She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
she looked like the before picture.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
