better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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