What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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