we have officially lost it.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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