walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
