Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
