Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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