Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
