I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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