through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
