4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Every concussion has its silver lining
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
