Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize