Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
