If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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