On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
