Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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