She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize