I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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